Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Massively Epic Sulking Fit

Hullo everyone. It's been a while. I promise that I am, in fact reading A Tale of Two Cities.  Even if I just started it a day or so ago. *guilty look*

I wanted to take a minute to A. Let you know that I haven't died, forgotten about the list or the blog, or run off and joined Hermits United with David Tennant. And B. discuss the sulking fit I've been having.



A few weeks back (three, I think) I heard for the first time about the Clarion workshop via Holly Black's Twitter. I debated on it for a few days before deciding that, though it's a mega long shot, there's no harm in applying. That having been decided I set out to look over some short stories I'd written ages ago that I still liked the concepts for and things of that nature.

I found one that I still enjoyed and took a couple of days for revisions. It was 1,500 words too long. As hard as I tried I couldn't get it below 6,000. That had to dismissed. So I chose another story. I rewrote the whole thing. It landed at about 4,000 words. I needed to do some edits but was fairly confident I would not add 2,000 words in editing. More than that, I really liked what I'd done. I was pretty proud of it and was excited to send it off the my Beta readers (Sam, Krissa if I haven't proposed to you yet, I am doing so now. I love you. Marry me?).

Which of course means that the inevitable happened. Captain Jack (my computer, named for Jack Harkness) decided he was in need of an update. Ordinarily, I am okay with this. Captain Jack can update whatever he sees fit. The problem with this particular update was that it seemed to have deleted the file with my story in it. Instead when I turned on my computer I had what was called 'Untitled Document 12.' As it turns out, UD12 was the first 332 words of the story rewrite but that's it. The saved file was gone.

I panicked. There was swearing. Maybe a couple of tears. A pen or two might have been thrown. A Nerf gun shot a time or two.

At my mum's advice I tried a system restore. Not so much with the working.

What this led to was a massively epic sulking fit. I didn't want to do anything for a good week. I'd open the document write a word or two, save and back up obsessively and then stare at the screen for fifteen minute with my chin on my arms. Maybe write a whole sentence and then watch 'Once Upon A Time' videos on Youtube (there are some really awesome ones out there) for the next half hour. Lather, rinse, repeat. I didn't even read. Which is how I knew I was being seriously childish.

Then I told myself I needed to get myself into gear if I wanted to still try. So, I sat down and jotted notes down on descriptions and phrases that I remembered using and really liking and tried to start again. I still couldn't do it.

Late last night I decided to move on. I wrote a whole new story today and am beginning to perk up a little again. I'm also now half way through A Tale of Two Cities and am hoping to have this story finished Friday and the book finished Sunday. Of course, we'll see what happens.

This wasn't the first time I've lost something due to technical error or someone spilling something on the computer (that was fun) but this one hit the hardest.

So, I'm sort of wondering, if anyone who writes ever reads this, why is it so hard to go back and do it again? Revising isn't that hard and sometimes that's practically rewriting. Why is it so difficult to rewrite something you've already done? I don't think that it's that we lose interest once it is written so why?

Talk to you all again soon!

-A.M.Y-A

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